Grief is not something that we naturally know how to deal with. The reality is that we must go through it ourselves to fully understand it. This means that when it comes to supporting someone else in their grief, people often wish they had done some things differently.
We have already written our first list of 10 Common Grief Support Regrets to help you support loved ones in grief. By learning from the experiences of others, we can gain a more rounded understanding of the grieving process, and hopefully will have fewer regrets of our own. Here are 10 more common grief support regrets you can learn from.
10 More Grief Support Regrets
1.
I should have asked questions like ‘how are you coping?’ rather than just ‘how are you?’ The first acknowledges the reality of grief, while the second can just pressure them into saying ‘good’ when they’re not.
2.
I should not have told them to stay busy. That essentially feels like being told to simply avoid their grief altogether.
3.
I should not have judged them for posting or talking about their loved one years later. People should not be expected to ‘get over’ their grief after a certain time frame.
4.
I should not have assumed that their grief was easier just because their loved one was older, or because the death was expected.
5.
I should not have told them that their loved one ‘will always be with them’. This can come across as vague and empty.
6.
I should have attended the funeral to support them, even though I wasn’t close with their loved one.
7.
I should have put more effort into remembering important dates, such as their loved one’s birthday or death anniversary.
8.
I should not have assumed that something would be helpful for them just because it would be helpful for me if I was in their position.
9.
I should not have asked my friend who had a miscarriage why she hasn’t got pregnant again. This can come across as disrespectful, and there nay have been other complications I wasn’t aware of.
10.
I should have made a point of reaching out during the holidays. These are often the most difficult times for those dealing with loss.
Grinter’s Funeral Home has been serving families in Cambridge and the wider Waikato region for over 30 years. We understand that everyone grieves differently, and that the funeral is an important part of everyone’s journey. That’s why we believe that every funeral service should be personalised and meaningful. It should be a time to celebrate the life of your loved one together with friends and family, and say goodbye the way you want.
